simpler times.

         My goodness has this past year been confusing. They say your early 20’s are supposed to be some of the best times of your life. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t have any fun this past year. I’d also be lying if I said that I never wondered who the hell said that your early 20’s are the most fun. Remember those summers spent swimming and playing freeze tag with all of the neighbor kids? Yeah, those were fun, and easy, and simple.

            I’ve been telling all of my friends this year that I miss the simpler times. The times we had one too many beers on a random Tuesday in college. That badass feeling in high school whenever we stayed out after the “Cinderella” license curfew. The summer days of sleeping until noon and then watching soap operas all day long. The time when bills referred to the Destiny’s Child song, rather than electric, gas, and cable. Life was sweet and simple then.

(beer. simple.)

            Now, after graduating from college in May of 2011 and watching my friends spread far and wide across this country to go accomplish great things, life has felt a bit more complicated. I have been calling it the “in between” time. And, to be honest, even that title makes me cringe a bit. When is it ever good to be in between something? Certainly not in a fight, or in the airplane middle seat, or during a game of Monkey in the Middle. Being “in between” usually means that you’re stuck or lost. Or maybe both. 

            Over the past year I have felt both stuck and lost. Accepting a yearlong job only an hour away from where I grew up has made me feel both stuck geographically, and stuck in the same position. (Due to my commitment-phobia this 1 year job is the longest commitment I’ve made in my life. Minus college. But, that’s just different.) I have also felt a bit lost. The first 22 years of my life I was constantly working toward a goal, usually with the next one already set for me. I had to complete elementary school to move to middle school, then to high school, then to college. But what about after you graduate college? What goal are you working to accomplish then? Hold up, you have to create your own? My indecisive self doesn’t sit very well with this notion. The world is vast and grand and beautiful. It is full of opportunities. “Carpe diem,” people say. But, what the heck should I seize today or the next day, and so on? Too many possibilities. One too many forks in the road.

            So, I turn to writing. And in that, I decide that while I’m stuck in the in-between, I’ll focus more on the figuring it out. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll delight in one too many Bud Light’s next Tuesday. Or, I’ll jam out to a little Destiny in my car past midnight on a work night. Gasp! I’m getting brave. But, I’ve realized lately that you seriously cannot plan and prioritize and overthink your whole life. You’ve just got to live. So that’s what I am going to try to do. And, I’ll figure out the rest as I go. Maybe I’ll even tell you a little about those discoveries on here if you’d like.

            Here’s to figuring out how to live simpler.

“-tomorrow is our permanent address

 and there they’ll scarcely find us (if they do,

 we’ll move away still further: into now”

--ee cummings